Emotional 7 Jan

*A replacement post for 7 Jan 2014

An emotional day for me again......
hiding in myself......
struggling......
society pressure......

What I Feel 4 Jan

*A replacement post for 4 Jan 2014

I watched the below videos from the internet. The videos caught my attention as some of the discussion brought out what I faced and felt all the while.

Video part 24:33 , 28:33 Good Point

2013.11.19大學生了沒完整版　其實我們沒有不一樣，同志朋友的彩虹世界！

爸媽囧很大 20131014 同志兒女要出櫃 爸媽你該怎麼辦

Heart Say

This is my heart say. It is in mandarin as I can presented better in my mother tongue language.

这几天，我心里觉得好纳闷。不知道从那儿说起，这种感觉就是那么的不是味道。我到底是怎么了。我真的不知道我到底想要的是什么。心里有点酸溜溜的感觉。好空虚。天天上班下班，看看电视剧，上上网，写写部落客。就是这样的一天过一天。看来那部电影还蛮影响深远。不知怎么的，我一直在把我自己联系于电影的角色里。康正行的那一种压抑的情感。我真的体会很多。我似乎在逃避着现实。我根本没勇气去爱。我真的觉得好辛苦。我真的很想大哭一场。不过，我就只能躲在被窝里，自己一个人静悄悄地偷偷哭着。现在，我觉得不知所措。那种压抑的情感好辛苦，好累。为什么社会就是这样的惨忍。我也不想要这样。怎么就是要分得这样清楚，就不能跨越它吗？爱就是爱，难道这样就是错，那样就是对吗？我不懂也不知道。我只知道我把自己收藏得好辛苦。这可是逼不得已啊。我心里在呐喊着。我越是把自己关起来，我就越伤感。我几乎把 自己与社会隔离。我在逃避。我真的觉得很无奈。真的不知道我能够撑得多久。希望我可以走出自己的路，创造自己的为来。我真的把自己封闭的很累了。不过，又能怎样？社会啊!你能不能够放过我吗？ 

Helpless

*A replacement post for yesterday

Sigh, I was damn upset to see such conflict. Husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, parents' conflict. I was really upset. I am thinking that did I make a wrong decision to move to a new house? Please don't make yourselves in this kind of conflict due to the new house. The reason that I chose to move is to have a happier home.

I am quite sure that I am not thinking too much that  put myself in bad mood. I experienced it before. I rather choose to be alone. I can have friends. I can have family members. However, I would say NO to have girlfriend and wife at this moment. I can't really handle another woman in my life anymore. Actually, I think women's right fighting is alright. However, women need to be more understanding. Please......men is really helpless......

 

Thinking

GF: Rest more and don't think too much ;-)


I: Hopefully I can :-)


I really wish I can. However, do you think that I manage not to think too much? In fact, it is a mission impossible for me. To be a MAN is tough, but to be a responsible MAN is thousand times tougher. I feel that I am having a minor headache again at this moment.


Perhaps, I am having such a negative thinking and I am too selfish all the while. I always think of to be a single MAN. At least I will have less responsibility and burden. There are too many unexpected issues will be raised up in the future that I can't really take it. Top1: Relationship(Can we live in a peaceful and harmony pace?), Top2: Wealth(Can we manage our cash flow wisely?), Top3: Career(Can we find our life long job?)


Responsibility of a: 



Single Man: ********
Own, Parents, Siblings, Relatives, Friends, Colleagues, Neighbors, Societies



Man In A Relationship: ****************
Own, Parents, Siblings, Relatives, Friends, Colleagues, Neighbors, Societies
Girlfriend, Parents, Siblings, Relatives, Friends, Colleagues, Neighbors, Societies


Married Man: *********************
Own, Parents, Siblings, Relatives, Friends, Colleagues, Neighbors, Societies
Wife, Parents, Siblings, Relatives, Friends, Colleagues, Neighbors, Societies
Children, Friends, Teachers, Neighbors, Societies

Only Son

I had read an interesting quote in the entertainment section of newspaper today. See, how BIG is the responsibility of the only son. Some people think that the only son is so lucky to have load of love and caring from his family. However, they do not know how stressful is the only son in carrying his responsibility to carry on ancestral line and maintain a happy family when he grows older and older.


黄晓明@Xiao Ming is really charming, especially his mouth and chin. Like!

Money

The weather is damn warm at this moment. I am blogging in my bedroom without the air-conditioner on. Perhaps, I am trying to save my monthly electricity bill.


Money money money. Everything needs money. I noticed that my cash flow is quite tight recently upon switching to my new career. There are a lot of extra expenses I need to spend off, like the toll, petrol, car maintenance, food and etc...... I think of looking for a part time job. However, I am still under probation in my new job. Well, I must begin my part time job for extra income as soon as I have got the confirmation on my new career position. Do remember this target. 加油！

* 加油！- Go for it! 

End of the Week

Finally, today is Friday. I believed that most of the employees always awaiting for weekends throughout the working days. People are planning their weekends for their loves one. However, I was a bit depressed since Yesterday.

I have a lot of worries. I felt uncertainty about my feeling because what I have done today did not totally reflect what I wish to be. It is all about

family, relationship, preference, career and wealth

(such a common issue but it is complicated as I grow older, I will share more details about them from time to time in my future posts)

Luckily, I feel better today. Perhaps I just temporarily ignore those matter at this moment. I have gone through a joke in facebook just now and would like to share with everybody. Here it is......

OMG !!!!! I was in the public toilet today and sat down, a voice from the next cubicle said "Hi!, how are you ?" Embarrassed, I said, "I'm doing fine". The voice said "So what are you up to?". I said, "Just doing the same as you, sitting here!". From next door, "Can I come over?". Annoyed, I… said "rather busy right now". The voice said, "Listen, I will have to call you back, there's an idiot next door answering all my questions".

My First......

Well, this is my FIRST......


First blog, First post......


Hopefully, my blog will be an informative and excellent sharing station among people who has the similar thinking and condition as ME...